I was greeted joyously by one of our campers this morning as she told me, “You are my hero.” I had joined her during a Tuck snack time last week just to chat, and that one encounter elevated me in her eyes. Our conversation was really fairly mundane; We talked about upcoming evening programs, what team I was on, how old I was when I started camp, etc. It is simple acts of kindness and conversation that make a real difference in how we perceive each other.
My husband Mark is very intuitive and is a great counter balance to my very concrete thinking. It is hard for me to get jokes. When I was younger, my dad used to tell me jokes just to watch me not understand them. Mark and I have been talking about my 40 summers as I try to define my path to leadership. I am not really sure how I got where I am today. As I have often mentioned, being a summer camp director was not on my radar at all. My dad happened to make me a competitive offer when I was graduating from college. Taking a chance turned into my life’s passion.
If I have felt any significant change in the past few years, it has been a loss of trust. Instead of seeking to understand one another, quick judgment is passed and trust is the casualty. I have always worked from a position of trust until I have a reason to believe otherwise. I now see perpetual mistrust even in the face of genuine care and concern. We are no longer accepted at our word. This is a high price to pay when our goal is to work together for the best of our children. My word has always been my bond.
In today’s world, way too much emphasis is placed on perfection: the perfect resume, the perfect experience, the perfect body, the perfect home, the perfect job, the perfect relationship, and I could go on and on. I am so far from the perfect person or the perfect camp director. I have worked hard, and I have always tried my best. I have made so many mistakes along the way. I believe that by owning my mistakes and apologizing for them has allowed me to learn from these errors and move forward…and I am a quick learner. It has taken me many years to learn how to forgive myself, but I am beginning to get there.
We have to be allowed to be imperfect. We have to be able to share these imperfections with others. Being imperfect doesn’t mean being wrong or untrustworthy. Being imperfect is being human. We do more harm to others by holding them to standards of perfection we are not able to reach ourselves. Our real message to each other needs to be, “All we can ask is that you do your best.” As I once learned in a seminar, there is no such thing as a best practice as there is always a better way of doing something.
When you are willing to own your mistakes and apologize, you earn the trust and confidence of others. You also must be a person of integrity to be trusted. What you say matches what you do. As with my Tuck time friend, investing in others doesn’t take tremendous effort. Reach out to others and make small connections. Yes, I do embarrass my children on a routine basis as I am one of those who talks to strangers on elevators…trying to make a connection (perhaps there is a Progressive Insurance ad in my future!).
We build a community of trust that is designed to support and nurture each girl in their pursuit of achievements, friendships, and challenges. By learning trust here at camp, perhaps your daughter will be better able to trust others in the larger world who will invest in her future successes. It is the highest honor and privilege to be able to have your girls at Keystone. We thank you for your ongoing trust.
There is no secret to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.
